[ the three rapid sighs one after the other make charles turn his head and look at back junpei, an are you okay at the tip of his tongue, except the words never have time to be spoken as junpei then leans his head against his shoulder, and charles — well, what else is there to do but to wrap his arms around him and just hold him there, gentle and yet decisive enough to betray the fact he'd hold him like this forever if he could.
the pat on his cheek makes him chuckle, and he has to suppress the urge to grab junpei's hand and turn his head just a little, to press a kiss to his palm — and hell but this is starting to get unbearable, unsustainable, the way he feels far, far too much to suppress it effectively anymore. ]
Yeah, definitely not. [ his voice is — a bit rough, there, like the words are catching in his throat; but he manages, and manages a smile, too, when junpei finally lifts his head and looks at him... though the look he gets, the one that's at once against going out and yet suggesting it at the same time, it makes him make a face of his own. ]
Guess it did. And we should. [ should, but he doesn't want to... but fine, fine! they can't stay here, can they? it is with a sigh of his own that he actually pushes himself up, too, finally able to move his other arm as junpei's no longer lying on it. ]
... Right. I swear, if it's some kind of white void there, I'm coming right back inside. [ no shade to ketsora, but he's had enough of white voids recently, thankyouverymuch. it's with this grumbling that he actually gets up, though, running a hand through his hair and rounding the bed, stopping to crouch down to pet gab in relief that he's still around and alright, too.
he waits for junpei by the door, and only pushes it open when they're both ready to face whatever's on the other side — except, well, once it's open... it's abundantly obvious that the answer to "what is it like out there" is "the same as always" — minus the glitches, which have been obvious enough lately than just a few minutes out there makes it clear that they're no longer happening. ]
Well, [ charles says, a little bit incredulous and a little more relieved, ] I guess... it did work, then. Sure seems like things're stable to me.
[For his part, Junpei actually flops right back down as Charles moves to get up. He really doesn't want to go anywhere, he'd rather lay right here and watch Charles roam around and pet Gab, almost as if this is an ordinary daily routine and not going out to check on the not-pocalypse. So give him an extra minute, then he'll roll himself out of bed and onto his feet. He'll make a quick pit stop in the kitchen to get Gab a little treat, and another stop to find his shoes, and now he's stalling, so— okay.
The rest of the world. Here goes.
...It seems perfectly normal. Like it really did work...]
Yeah... looks like it. Let's walk around, just to be sure.
[And he doesn't ask or hesitate, simply reaches over to take Charles' hand and tug, setting off for the center of town. And the town looks, well, just as normal as ever - even more so! Passing a few locals who give them the cold shoulder notwithstanding, although Junpei doesn't have the energy yet to worry about that. The world is still here, so if nothing else, Charles getting hurt as badly as he did wasn't for nothing... He did still get hurt, and thinking about that makes Junpei think about a dozen worst-case scenarios, despite himself.
Maybe if the world was a little wrong, it would be easier to focus on that. He should feel better, right? Relieved, or something? And he does, of course, but he feels like he could feel... more. And he knows where the lingering doubt is coming from, and that time is never guaranteed, so, alright, fuck it—time to muddle through it.]
Well, the world not ending is a pretty good thing, but, uh... it could have. I mean, do you ever think about... other things you could have done?
[ charles, of course, would give him as many minutes as he needs — the longer junpei stalls, though, the more his fond look is overshadowed by the lingering concern from before, and it doesn't dissipate even as they walk outside, not even when junpei simply takes his hand and starts to tug him through the streets towards central aldrip.
for his part, he ignores the locals completely; perhaps on a normal day, he'd note the way the looks they're getting are distinctly more unfriendly than before, but he doesn't have the presence of mind for that right now. instead, he looks around a little half-heartedly, and every few seconds his eyes shift to look at junpei, to try and glean what he's thinking simply from his expression... and though he usually finds him pretty easy to read, well, perhaps that's just one more thing that's strange about today. instead of relieved, it is as if something weighs on him, and all charles can think to do is squeeze his hand in reassurance, even when he doesn't really know what he's reassuring him of, here.
the question makes him blink; is that what this is about? what-ifs? the fact that things could have gone far, far worse, and it's only due to luck that they didn't? maybe — and if it was anyone else asking, he would shake his head, say of course not, say what's the point of thinking about things that didn't happen... but it's junpei, the only person capable of drawing actual honesty from him because charles loves him far too much to lie to him, not even when he wishes he could. ]
Yeah, of course I do. It's like regrets, innit? If we hadn't managed the reset... or if things in Ketsora had ended differently. Do I wish I'd done something that I didn't?
[ he ducks his head, smiling despite it all, though there's a distinctly sad edge to his smile as he lifts his gaze, fixes it on junpei. ] I shouldn't have left. I don't — I mean, I don't regret helping out. But that's not where I should've been.
[ because when it comes right down to it — that is what he regrets, what he wishes he had done differently: junpei means more to him than anything or anyone in this place, and just like he'd left him to deal with the end of the gnos infection on his own, he'd left him alone this time, too. the words they'd exchanged over the network could well have been their last ones. and he's not quite sure he can entirely forgive himself for that. ]
From now on, I promise I'll stick with you, yeah? Unless you don't want me to.
[Oh, and Junpei isn't exactly prepared for Charles to have a whole answer - not that it's a bad thing at all, but he'd expected maybe a "hmm, yeah!" and to be able to keep stumbling his way through this. Leave it to Charles to unbalance him with sweet words right now. Junpei slows to a stop just to look at him, already abandoning the plan to investigate the city; that can wait. This, he thinks, has waited long enough.
He shakes his head. Charles blaming himself for going off to the terminals, again, still - much as he'd like to assure him that it's fine, it's already done and passed, well, they're literally talking about doing things differently, huh? He doesn't, like, begrudge Charles his choice to help out, he's pretty sure he said that days ago, but that is kind of the impetus for this conversation, now.]
It's not just that. But come on, of course I want us to stick together. You don't need to ask about that.
[He gives Charles' hand a squeeze and then looks aside, down the street, as talking about this is nerve-wracking enough without Charles' sad little smile kicking him in the chest a dozen times.]
But... I mean, I've gone to other timelines to try and fix things, but I don't think that's... It's stupid, I guess? I think we've got this one, right now, and there isn't a magical second chance swap option, so, uh, shit.
[Give him a second. Ignore the blush creeping its way up to his ears. That's normal, that's fine. Hold on.]
I just mean... You were out there, and I kept thinking about, you know, doing things another way, and I didn't want to mess up your whole mission thing. And now everything's just completely fine? Like, what the hell? And I can't stop thinking about it, so here we go: I'm in love with you.
[This he emphasizes with, of all things, a little jazz hand with his free one, like, tada! He's going to burst into flame at any moment, he feels like, but there it is.]
[ his sad little smile turns, well, a little less sad at that reassurance — he echoes the squeeze to their joined hands, and then falls silent; not because he wouldn't have things to say about the whole trying to fix things part, but because the way junpei speaks, eyes trained at something at the end of the street, is the way he sometimes starts some distance away from the point he wants to get to, circling it until he can finally push himself into facing whatever it is. and for that, he doesn't need charles' words; he needs his silence.
and that stays, even through the moment junpei takes to find the rest of his words; meanwhile, charles watches the red that stains his cheeks and oh, that's a sight that never gets old, never fails to make his heart flip. and then, a few seconds before junpei actually gets to the point, right around "i can't stop thinking about it," it flips again, and again, until it just... stops. in fact, charles could swear everything stops — the sounds from the town, the slight wind, anything and everything... because nothing really matters to him except junpei, and the way his arguably incredibly dorky (and yet so, so endearing) confession makes charles feel like he's somehow forgotten to let gravity affect him and is floating in the air.
he doesn't think he's ever felt as happy as he does, now.
though words are something that are beyond him, in the moment that junpei's question hangs between them, well, the way he looks at junpei belies it all: if he'd thought that the way charles looked at him before was openly affectionate, that holds no candle to this, here, his immediate answer not spoken aloud but no less obvious for it.
and then he's tugging on their hands, using his own to pull junpei close, his other hand cupping the back of his head gently as he leans down to press a kiss to his lips. and he means it to be a short, sweet thing, really, except he's wanted to do this for months and one kiss turns into two, three, until he's finally able to pull back just enough to touch their foreheads together, his hand moving from the back of junpei's head to the side of his face. ]
Yeah, [ he says then, smiling softly, ] Yeah, it's aces. [ with a quiet exhale, he straightens up so he can actually look at junpei properly, thumb brushing against his cheek, and the words — yeah, they're there, now. ]
You, Junpei Tenmyouji... I love you. [ in the end, it's a simple thing to say — like the words have just been waiting, all these weeks, for him to be brave enough to speak them aloud. ]
[It's a harrowing second or two, standing there holding his silly pose and waiting for Charles to respond. There is always a chance, isn't there, that the, hm, particular way Charles is always looking at him and touching him and holding him in his own bed is totally just platonic, right, there's a chance— Junpei has never claimed to be completely confident in reading signals.
The look Charles gives him now only makes the flush in his cheeks even deeper, and he lets Charles pull him in like there's no other choice he could possibly make. After the first kiss he manages to mumble out a tiny,] Oh—
[But then he can get it together, jazz hand hovering a moment before landing on Charles' shoulder as he leans into the other two kisses with enthusiasm. There's going to be a lot of standing on tiptoe in his future, he figures, and that is just fine. These kisses alone have made his heart flip so many times he's pretty sure it could generate flight, and if he's to float around after Charles like a besotted cartoon character for the rest of time, then it will be worth it.
And if the kisses can wind him up that much that quickly, is it any wonder that Charles' words can unravel him just as fast; he squeezes Charles' hand and shoulder harder, like he might earnestly just wobble straight to the ground from the relief of it, from the pure joy. Again he says,]
Oh, [and then,] Good. Great. Holy shit.
[Now it all hits him in full, the relief due for the world not ending, the elation of being loved, and he does kind of sway a little bit as he steps forward to thunk his head onto Charles' shoulder.]
Knew you'd be a good kisser. [Is there anything Charles isn't good at, sheesh— Junpei does actually stand on tiptoe then, lifting his head for another kiss, almost giddy that this is a thing he can do now whenever he likes.
When he leans back he is still cherry red, and trying and failing to smile just a normal amount instead of way too much.]
That's what I should've told you sooner, but... [He shrugs one shoulder; Charles had things to do, he made a judgment call. Still, as if to make up for that, again:] Yeah. I love you, too.
[ holy shit is about right — he's feeling far too much to coherently put words to it, the staggering relief and the bubbling happiness and the way all the love he feels doesn't quite seem to fit inside him, like every single atom in his spectral body is already made up of nothing but the sheer strength of how much he adores junpei and still there's more left spilling over. he thinks he gets it, now, why people describe a love returned as giddy — he feels almost light-headed with it all, and can't help but laugh as junpei just abruptly rests his head on his shoulder like he, too, is suffering from the same affliction.
which — he is, and the knowledge makes charles smile wide and bright and joyous. ]
Oh? [ he can't help but feel just a tad bit smug when he says, voice lilting, ] Thought about that, have you?
[ well, maybe it's a good thing junpei now has a very effective way to shut him up — one he uses to his advantage, and charles is all too happy to oblige him. and if his smile after matches junpei's, well! that's just fine. he thinks they deserve this, after everything, a moment to simply beam at each other in the middle of a goddamn street of all things. ]
That makes two of us. [ who should have said it sooner, he means — and then, voice soft and tender, ] Good.
[ and really, it's hardly charles' fault if the only possible answer to that is to lean down again, letting his hand slide down to the back of junpei's neck, fingers curling in his hair as he kisses him in earnest, this time... and while the earlier kisses were sort of, vaguely, still public-appropriate, this one is skirting the line, what with charles being very intent on leaving junpei breathless when they finally break apart. ]
[Aha, of course he's smug, Junpei all but handed him that ammo on a silver platter - and he's amused about it despite himself, not at all managing to stop smiling even as he raises an eyebrow like, come on, ego much? It's cute is what it is, and Charles isn't wrong, so...
He hums and shrugs again - it's a mystery! - and lets go of Charles' hand to slide both arms around his shoulders, pressing himself as close as he can get with his feet still on the ground. Clearly he should tell Charles all of his idle kissing thoughts, if it inspires him to kiss like this— Junpei is all too happy to kiss him back in earnest, the middle of the street be damned. Maybe he'll care about that someday, but right now the whole world is him and Charles and the way that kiss leaves him almost dizzy - whether that's purely from the high of finally confessing or quite literally from being breathless is anyone's guess.
Either way, he doesn't want to let go; he wants to stand right here and look into Charles' eyes and let it really sink in, to adjust to the way it feels almost like the world has tilted on its axis in his favor, for once. The reset worked and Charles loves him, they're blocking the whole damn sidewalk and it doesn't matter because Charles loves him, him! Of all people! Even after the jazz hand—
Well, now's not the time for insecurity. Now is the time, actually, to give Charles an affectionate hair ruffle while he, ahem, settles down a little after being kissed so thoroughly. Whew.]
Now you're just showing off. [but also please continue to do so—] ...We should go on a date. Like, get dressed up nice and everything. You want to?
[ in response to the eyebrow raise, charles just cocks his head back with easy confidence, a kind of you said it, not me. when junpei slides his arms around him, he doesn't waste time to wind his now-free arm around his back, and while he doesn't really need to pull junpei closer — he's done that all on his own — well, it doesn't hurt, either.
the street could just as well not exist, for how little thought charles spares it; even as they break apart, even as he, too, feels breathless despite not even needing to breathe, all he has eyes for is junpei. and hell, but he can't really believe his luck — why on earth junpei would love him is quite frankly beyond him, and if he allows himself to dwell on it he's not entirely sure he deserves it, either; but he won't think of that, now, will avoid thinking of it as long as he can, because if junpei for some unfathomable reason seems to think him worth it... then charles won't doubt him.
what he will do instead is aim a grin at junpei, shrugging his shoulders. ]
That's not a complaint. [ and despite his tone, his eyes are full of warmth — and then he's leaning forward to press a kiss to his temple, his fingers untangling themselves from his hair as he moves his hand to join his other one around junpei. not for a moment does it occur to him they're still on the sidewalk; all he knows is the world could literally end right now and still he wouldn't let go.
the suggestion gets a hum from him. ] You mean, I'll get to see you in something else than a t-shirt? [ where's the nearest clothing store —
no, but joking aside, why is this even a question? ] Of course I do. [ he feels compelled to add, with a kind of devastating honesty, ] Junpei, love, you know you could ask me to go mountain climbing, or learn Ancient Greek, or watch seventy hours' worth of reality tv with you, and I'd say yes. Because it's you.
[Junpei huffs, not quite embarrassed; no, it's not a complaint, he loves Charles' smug grin and his little quips and, frankly, everything he does with his mouth. Being kissed breathless is just as precious to him as being kissed more chastely like that, too, like he's a precious thing that's actually earned the way Charles feels about him just by being there. So, no, no complaints to be had at all; about this or anything else.
Not even about the way Charles' sudden burst of honesty nearly knocks the wind out of him again, jeez, he could at least give Junpei a warning before pulling out all the stops. Calling him love alone is enough to swell his heart to bursting all over again, and as for the rest, well— he can't help but laugh, equal parts incredulous and genuine, shaking his head.]
At least two of those things I promise I'm never going to do, [and it would depend on how funny the trash tv is, for the third, so thank goodness Aldrip doesn't have reality television,] But... good to know. And, uh, it's the same for me, too. I'd do anything for you. Up to and including learning how to put on a tie.
[Which is serious, really, but still kind of a bit. Charles is definitely going to have to pick out his fancy date outfit for him, and he's made peace with that, but! Still, the other thing is just as true.]
I mean, even before five minutes ago, you've been the best thing that's ever happened to me, and... yeah. [And Yeah - Junpei 2024, romantic] So... don't hold back.
[ he chuckles at the promise of the two out of three, and then his heart soars again, like it's grown wings and learned to fly within the past five minutes — will he ever get tired of this, junpei speaking halted but honest words about how much charles means to him? no, he doesn't think so. he has equal trouble believing he'll ever really get used to it.
and then you've been the best thing that's ever happened to me hits him with the force of a bloody missile — not least because he can't quite believe he could be the best thing to happen to anybody, but also because this is junpei, who so often chooses actions over words, and to hear him actually say this out loud —
it's staggering, is what it is, and it makes charles have to glance away just for a second to gather his bearings. ]
You — [ no, his voice still sticks in his throat, but he tries his best, tightens his arms around junpei as he looks back at him, ] Sometimes I love you so fucking much I don't know what to do with myself.
[ and that 'sometimes' is not entirely accurate — perhaps 'increasingly often' might work better. still, he smiles, just a bit tremulous, and yet no less adoring than before. ] It's just you, [ he says, because in the end, that is what it all comes down to. ] Of course it's you.
[ it is an echo of what he'd said, back in that dressing room — back when he had been saying this same thing even without knowing it.
and when he bridges the already small distance between them, it's to press one of those chaste, loving kisses against junpei's lips. as he pulls back, he huffs out a slight laugh. ] Right, can't keep kissing you forever on this sidewalk, can I? Should we...
[ he trails off, because he's not entirely sure what to suggest except move — keep walking? he's not really interested in seeing the city, right now. go back home? certainly an appealing idea. get junpei something to eat? probably sensible but also not very romantic — ]
[It's true that Junpei is habitually a man of action more than words - he's just not very good at them! If he isn't stumbling over the serious parts then he's getting too emotional in some other way, and it's just easier to show before telling most of the time— and so of all things, when he manages to get out a whole earnest line without stumbling in the middle, the last thing he expects is for Charles to... get choked up? Huh?
It's all he can do to slide his hands up to cup Charles' face in both of them, make sure he doesn't look away again, giving him a crooked kind of grin. Doing anything for Charles includes this, right, embracing all of the overwhelming emotions head-on, even when he hardly knows what to do with himself, either. He doesn't say things like the best thing that's ever happened to me for his health, after all.
But he doesn't say anything, simply holds Charles' gaze like that for a few extra moments after they've kissed, before he reaches behind his own back for a hand to hold. Frankly, well,]
Charles, if you ask me, you can do whatever you want. Just saying.
[Buuut okaaaay, they should... go... elsewhere. Plenty of things to do. Probably. He clears his throat and considers the street. Hmm.]
Things look pretty normal here. No reason to hang around.
[—although,]
...Does everyone here seem like they're super pissed off to you?
[ it's all too easy to get lost in junpei's eyes; but the overwhelming surge of feelings calms into something no less strong but steadier, an ocean instead of a waterfall, and charles exhales slowly and smiles as their hands find each other once again. and they've done this so many times now that it's almost routine, but it feels different, more somehow, with both of them knowing the meaning behind it now. ]
Right, [ he says with a little grin, and well, charles would be lying if he tried to say junpei's frank correction and the implicit and explicit permission to kiss him whenever doesn't make him want to do just that, despite just having decided otherwise; he compromises by lifting their joined hands and pressing a kiss to junpei's knuckles instead.
and then the question makes him look around, considering. ] You mean, more than they should be for us blocking the sidewalk for ten minutes? ... Huh. Yeah, guess they do.
[ and that's probably something to look into, because that definitely wasn't a thing before... but does he really care? really, truly? ]
Well, that's different and all if we're not just imagining it, but... being honest? I don't really give a shit. Not right now. [ instead, he fixes junpei with a look. ] When's the last time you actually ate something? Like, an actual meal?
[ because it's been three days and he's having a hard time believing junpei bothered to make anything proper for himself if he spent the entire time worrying. ]
Could've blocked it for twenty, [Junpei says, giving a look to a passing woman with a sneer who makes an aghast noise and hurries on, affronted. They could have blocked this sidewalk even longer, which now means specifically to piss these people off and because he'd like to kiss Charles at least a hundred times more before they go and do something else. But if he's going to make faces at the locals now, then— oh, what? Meals?
Ah, and he can't help but grin sheepishly,] Wait, what? Now I'm in trouble?
[Hey hey, what's that look, haha, he totally takes care of himself, he has Eaten... The fact that he has to think about this is telling enough, but listen, it's been a stressful time.]
I had a sandwich, uh, yesterday. That's a meal.
[It's not a meal. And maybe he should be more embarrassed about being called out like this, and he will, honestly, this must be part of their promise to take better care of themselves, but... well! Honestly, he's stuck on the fact that Charles wants to take care of him at all, just like during the gnos event, or when he was drunk... no one has ever wanted to look after him before.
But he will learn to cook whole meals, really, for sure. Starting soon. He holds up his free hand in defeat,] Soooo... it's lunch time, then?
[ in response, charles lets out a fond sigh; this is just about exactly what he expected, really, and he gives junpei one (1) look of gentle admonishment — before he does what he explicitly said he wouldn't do and just, you know, ducks his head and leans in to give him yet another kiss. oops —
anyway, pulling back, ]
Yeah. You got anything back at the house? No, [ he corrects himself immediately, ] Probably not what I'd need.
[ and then he seems to realise he's being a little cryptic, and directs a sheepish smile at junpei. ] I'm not a great cook, but I do know some recipes, yeah? Used to help Mum out with chores. One time when her wrist was broken, back when I was twelve, I did all the cooking with her instructions, so I kind of kept helping after that, too. Dad never did much in the kitchen, so...
[ so it was a win-win in his eyes, spending time with his mom while avoiding his dad. and the implications of how his mom's wrist got broken aside, ]
[Hm, lesson learned: he can do whatever and Charles will still kiss him about it, good to know. Seriously, good to know, but he'll still put more effort into, mm, himself.
Anyway, he says, faux-indignant,] Hey, I have ingredients, [which they both know he does not. If they're getting ingredients they can start walking again, which Junpei does with a little tug on their hands. This story about Charles' mom is pretty cute, other than...
Well. He can guess. Privately, without bringing it up, because it's the cute part that matters.]
You're gonna cook for me? Only an idiot would turn you down, so yeah, let's curry it up.
[Well, he expects he might just be watching, but even so. Truly only an actual fool would say no to home-cooked meals; Junpei is ready and willing to make googoo eyes at Charles over his kitchen counter for however long it takes to prepare curry. He has no idea.
On the way, though, he'll overtly fish for more cute Charles memories:]
[ as they wander along the street towards the closest grocery store, charles lets out a genuine chuckle over the curry it up, and if that doesn't show how far gone he truly is then nothing does — and then, with a bright, somewhat nostalgic grin, ]
Yeah, she's brills. Her chicken curry was the highlight of all the potlucks, you know, my cousins and I would fight over who got the biggest portion. And shit, her baked plum tart? Wish you could taste that... but I don't know the recipe. She only made that on special occasions, and wouldn't let me help with it.
[ he sighs as he stops in front of a store called 8-twelve, which, hm! but he pushes the door open even as he says, ] She loved cooking. Reckon she still does.
[ there's a touch of wistfulness there, enough for him to drop the topic as he starts gathering ingredients, spending the longest time in front of the spice selection. but maybe it explains why he is strangely invested in cooking despite thirty-five years of not needing to do it at all. ]
How about you? What's your favourite dish? [ he tries to sound very innocent, like he's asking just out of curiosity and not so he can just learn how to cook whatever it is... ]
[Oh, and if curry it up gets him a laugh, he will never stop. Charles will live with this forever now. Junpei is way too pleased with himself over that, giving him a grin and his hand a squeeze as they head for the store.]
The secret amazing plum tart...? Damn, now I'm really hungry.
[But really, he just likes to hear Charles talk about his good memories, especially given the rest of what he knows. It's obvious that it's important enough to him that Junpei would probably say yes to anything he wanted to make, just for little moments like this. It helps that curry is delicious, of course...
He has no idea what to do with himself in this store, though, so he just stands there and waits for Charles to pick out his things. Should he have grabbed a basket? He probably should have grabbed a basket. He is nailing this.]
What? Oh, uh, I dunno, really... Don't act too surprised, but I've been living off instant ramen and American fast food back home. [don't judge him. anyway, a Real Dish, hmm,] I guess if I picked something that wasn't cheap crap, then... cold soba is pretty good.
[Guy who only eats noodles and hamburgers voice: "Dish"???]
[ it's really not his fault that he finds junpei incredibly charming when he's making little jokes like that — or perhaps it is, but it's a fault he's happy to embrace.
at the little offhand comment of him being hungry, charles blinks and nods. ] Right, so we'll get you a snack. It takes a bit to simmer, so...
[ anyway! junpei doesn't need to stand idle for long, because charles starts handing him the things he picks out, one packet of spices after another. and then, ] Hold on a tick, [ he gives junpei's hand a squeeze before letting go and phasing through a few shelves, returning in maybe half a minute with a basket that's somehow half-full of an assorted collection of vegetables and a plastic-wrapped piece of chicken.
as he entwines their hands again, he does, in fact, give junpei a look that's half-flat and half-amused, because instant ramen and fast food, seriously, he hopes it's not been the case here because then he should have been cooking for him months ago.
but oh, an actual answer, ]
Cold soba, huh? Right, sure. I'll look into it. I was already gonna learn how to make a ramen broth or whatever that's called. You're gonna have to taste-test for me, though. Got no idea what the authentic thing tastes like... and it's not like I can taste it myself, can I?
[ he then tries to sort of wave his other hand at their surroundings, except it's holding the basket, and so all he ends up doing is jostling it and nearly tipping it over — he manages to balance it with a sharp snap of his wrist, but not before swearing under his breath. ] Uh, so, pick a snack? Or two. Or ten.
Huh? [There goes Charles, and Junpei really does stand there, the epitome of local dunce who does not know how to grocery shop, waiting for him to come back. He's just holding these spices... yep...
Thank god he comes back quickly so Junpei can offload this stuff and go back to holding hands, a thing he's really good at.]
You'll need to get all the bones and stuff for good ramen broth, [he says, because he's a ramen critic despite eating 99 cent Bowl Noodles (tm) for years and years. He can help with that one! —Not that he's ever made a broth himself, but he's, you know, looked it up.
Anyway,] Do you want me to hold the basket...? I don't need that many snacks. Just, like, some chips or something.
[ the way his eyes light up at this nugget of ramen broth wisdom is maybe a little silly, but his enthusiasm is entirely genuine when he squeezes junpei's hand and declares, ] Aces, then you can help so I don't muck it all up. I was told it's a whole process, but... [ but, well, he doesn't really have too many things to do, so he might as well spend some of his time perfecting specific japanese dishes.
and then he glances at the basket he almost upended in the middle of the store and winces. ] No, it's fine. Just pick whatever you want, yeah? And then we can go.
[ they've made it to the last aisle before the cash register, the one with the snacks, and the cashier is ignoring them with an attitude best described as frigid, and, well. when junpei has picked what he wants, and after charles doubles back to grab a few treats for gab, he will hold his smile steadily in place through paying for the groceries, and only lets out a sigh when they finally make it outside again. ]
Jesus. If this is how it's gonna be from now on...
[ he falls silent for a moment as they start walking back to junpei's house. ] You think my landlord's gonna be like this, too?
[ because if so... well. he can handle people he doesn't know disliking him for no reason, but people he's sort of got along with before this? wow, he hates that. ]
[Junpei hums; he'll do his best to muddle through helping with the good broth with the bones, sure. He grabs, honestly, the first bag of chips that isn't some weird flavor like sour cream and birthday cake or whatever, and spends their whole interaction with the cashier staring sourly at them, since Charles doesn't seem willing to be annoyed in public. Fuck this cashier, actually—
So it's a relief to be back outside and heading home, and hm, it seems like Charles does give a shit about the locals' behavior now, in the exact way that tugs at Junpei's heartstrings.]
Dunno... probably? Maybe they'll all collectively get over it, but I dunno.
[He doesn't have any real personal attachment to the locals himself, but hm, it would be a shame for Charles - what about that old lady, Gia? How many locals is Charles friendly with, anyway...]
You can hang out at my place if it's too awkward at yours.
[ there's a difference to it all: strangers hating him for no reason? well, that he's used to — half the people he met back when he was alive had taken one look at the biracial guy with an earring and judged him as not enough, in the best case, or treated him as something lesser in the worst one. it had grown a little less common as an occurrence in his death, but still they'd come across clients who'd died well before charles with similar attitudes. but those people, well, the one thing he refuses to do is show them that he minds it; if he's friendly and polite and not offended, then it just shows they're the ones who are wrong. the biggest fuck you he can give them is to not waver in his own friendliness, at all.
but people who he's met before? who he's gotten along with before? who he likes, at least well enough, changing their opinion of him on a dime? that's a little too close to his very real memories of his death, and though he's usually very good at hiding his apprehension, some of it bleeds through into the way he visibly tenses up when junpei says probably, the way his eyes stare at nothing for a second or two before he shakes himself back to the present with a blink.
and then he smiles, because some reflexes are just too ingrained in him to beat. ]
Nah, it's fine. I'm sure it's fine, but thanks. I just — [ he shrugs, ] Well, wouldn't want you to get sick of me, would I?
[ his tone is very light and joking, but he absolutely means it. ]
[It's impossible to miss the way Charles reacts to that, although Junpei can't quite get all way to making the proper connection. He's gotten used to it for better or for worse, being by himself, not noticing as friendships drift away; admittedly there had been less vitriol in his lost college friendships than the way the locals are treating them now, so maybe that's not a helpful comparison. Either way, he understands the part about him.
He shakes his head and grips Charles' hand tighter. The hurt of being left behind unless it's convenient? That one he knows, so no, absolutely not. When Charles isn't around he spends all his time literally waiting by the phone, even, that was only a day ago...!]
Not gonna happen. Besides, it's... [hmm. how to phrase,] I mean, you don't always have to be on, you know? Not for me. You want to come over and zone out for a while, well, my door's- uh, I guess the mirror, actually- the mirror's always open.
[And he doesn't have a landlord! Tada! His landlordless house comes into view up ahead and Junpei slows them down just a bit; it wouldn't be a huge problem to continue this conversation over curry-making, sure, but it feels better to finish it out here. Let cooking time be nothing but good memories and tasty food, actually.]
You don't have to put up with weird bullshit from anybody, so... if things get too weird, I've got your back. Okay?
[ it's impossible for him to not give junpei a warm smile at that as they slow to a stop in front of the house. ]
I know you do. [ there's not too many things he's certain of in this place, but that is one of them; even before they spoke of their feelings, charles never once doubted junpei's care for him. ]
But that goes for you, too, yeah? The being on part. I mean, and the part about having your back, but — well, the thing is, I'm used to sharing my space. But you're not, are you? So if you ever feel like you want to be alone, or just... exist quietly in the same room, you let me know. Cause I —
[ the warmth has now migrated to his eyes, too, and the tension has bled out of the line of his shoulders. ] I can't imagine ever not wanting to be around you. So if you'll have me...
[ he shrugs; then it's entirely possible he'll never leave, and he can certainly live with that. ]
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the pat on his cheek makes him chuckle, and he has to suppress the urge to grab junpei's hand and turn his head just a little, to press a kiss to his palm — and hell but this is starting to get unbearable, unsustainable, the way he feels far, far too much to suppress it effectively anymore. ]
Yeah, definitely not. [ his voice is — a bit rough, there, like the words are catching in his throat; but he manages, and manages a smile, too, when junpei finally lifts his head and looks at him... though the look he gets, the one that's at once against going out and yet suggesting it at the same time, it makes him make a face of his own. ]
Guess it did. And we should. [ should, but he doesn't want to... but fine, fine! they can't stay here, can they? it is with a sigh of his own that he actually pushes himself up, too, finally able to move his other arm as junpei's no longer lying on it. ]
... Right. I swear, if it's some kind of white void there, I'm coming right back inside. [ no shade to ketsora, but he's had enough of white voids recently, thankyouverymuch. it's with this grumbling that he actually gets up, though, running a hand through his hair and rounding the bed, stopping to crouch down to pet gab in relief that he's still around and alright, too.
he waits for junpei by the door, and only pushes it open when they're both ready to face whatever's on the other side — except, well, once it's open... it's abundantly obvious that the answer to "what is it like out there" is "the same as always" — minus the glitches, which have been obvious enough lately than just a few minutes out there makes it clear that they're no longer happening. ]
Well, [ charles says, a little bit incredulous and a little more relieved, ] I guess... it did work, then. Sure seems like things're stable to me.
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The rest of the world. Here goes.
...It seems perfectly normal. Like it really did work...]
Yeah... looks like it. Let's walk around, just to be sure.
[And he doesn't ask or hesitate, simply reaches over to take Charles' hand and tug, setting off for the center of town. And the town looks, well, just as normal as ever - even more so! Passing a few locals who give them the cold shoulder notwithstanding, although Junpei doesn't have the energy yet to worry about that. The world is still here, so if nothing else, Charles getting hurt as badly as he did wasn't for nothing... He did still get hurt, and thinking about that makes Junpei think about a dozen worst-case scenarios, despite himself.
Maybe if the world was a little wrong, it would be easier to focus on that. He should feel better, right? Relieved, or something? And he does, of course, but he feels like he could feel... more. And he knows where the lingering doubt is coming from, and that time is never guaranteed, so, alright, fuck it—time to muddle through it.]
Well, the world not ending is a pretty good thing, but, uh... it could have. I mean, do you ever think about... other things you could have done?
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for his part, he ignores the locals completely; perhaps on a normal day, he'd note the way the looks they're getting are distinctly more unfriendly than before, but he doesn't have the presence of mind for that right now. instead, he looks around a little half-heartedly, and every few seconds his eyes shift to look at junpei, to try and glean what he's thinking simply from his expression... and though he usually finds him pretty easy to read, well, perhaps that's just one more thing that's strange about today. instead of relieved, it is as if something weighs on him, and all charles can think to do is squeeze his hand in reassurance, even when he doesn't really know what he's reassuring him of, here.
the question makes him blink; is that what this is about? what-ifs? the fact that things could have gone far, far worse, and it's only due to luck that they didn't? maybe — and if it was anyone else asking, he would shake his head, say of course not, say what's the point of thinking about things that didn't happen... but it's junpei, the only person capable of drawing actual honesty from him because charles loves him far too much to lie to him, not even when he wishes he could. ]
Yeah, of course I do. It's like regrets, innit? If we hadn't managed the reset... or if things in Ketsora had ended differently. Do I wish I'd done something that I didn't?
[ he ducks his head, smiling despite it all, though there's a distinctly sad edge to his smile as he lifts his gaze, fixes it on junpei. ] I shouldn't have left. I don't — I mean, I don't regret helping out. But that's not where I should've been.
[ because when it comes right down to it — that is what he regrets, what he wishes he had done differently: junpei means more to him than anything or anyone in this place, and just like he'd left him to deal with the end of the gnos infection on his own, he'd left him alone this time, too. the words they'd exchanged over the network could well have been their last ones. and he's not quite sure he can entirely forgive himself for that. ]
From now on, I promise I'll stick with you, yeah? Unless you don't want me to.
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He shakes his head. Charles blaming himself for going off to the terminals, again, still - much as he'd like to assure him that it's fine, it's already done and passed, well, they're literally talking about doing things differently, huh? He doesn't, like, begrudge Charles his choice to help out, he's pretty sure he said that days ago, but that is kind of the impetus for this conversation, now.]
It's not just that. But come on, of course I want us to stick together. You don't need to ask about that.
[He gives Charles' hand a squeeze and then looks aside, down the street, as talking about this is nerve-wracking enough without Charles' sad little smile kicking him in the chest a dozen times.]
But... I mean, I've gone to other timelines to try and fix things, but I don't think that's... It's stupid, I guess? I think we've got this one, right now, and there isn't a magical second chance swap option, so, uh, shit.
[Give him a second. Ignore the blush creeping its way up to his ears. That's normal, that's fine. Hold on.]
I just mean... You were out there, and I kept thinking about, you know, doing things another way, and I didn't want to mess up your whole mission thing. And now everything's just completely fine? Like, what the hell? And I can't stop thinking about it, so here we go: I'm in love with you.
[This he emphasizes with, of all things, a little jazz hand with his free one, like, tada! He's going to burst into flame at any moment, he feels like, but there it is.]
So, uh, is that—cool?
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and that stays, even through the moment junpei takes to find the rest of his words; meanwhile, charles watches the red that stains his cheeks and oh, that's a sight that never gets old, never fails to make his heart flip. and then, a few seconds before junpei actually gets to the point, right around "i can't stop thinking about it," it flips again, and again, until it just... stops. in fact, charles could swear everything stops — the sounds from the town, the slight wind, anything and everything... because nothing really matters to him except junpei, and the way his arguably incredibly dorky (and yet so, so endearing) confession makes charles feel like he's somehow forgotten to let gravity affect him and is floating in the air.
he doesn't think he's ever felt as happy as he does, now.
though words are something that are beyond him, in the moment that junpei's question hangs between them, well, the way he looks at junpei belies it all: if he'd thought that the way charles looked at him before was openly affectionate, that holds no candle to this, here, his immediate answer not spoken aloud but no less obvious for it.
and then he's tugging on their hands, using his own to pull junpei close, his other hand cupping the back of his head gently as he leans down to press a kiss to his lips. and he means it to be a short, sweet thing, really, except he's wanted to do this for months and one kiss turns into two, three, until he's finally able to pull back just enough to touch their foreheads together, his hand moving from the back of junpei's head to the side of his face. ]
Yeah, [ he says then, smiling softly, ] Yeah, it's aces. [ with a quiet exhale, he straightens up so he can actually look at junpei properly, thumb brushing against his cheek, and the words — yeah, they're there, now. ]
You, Junpei Tenmyouji... I love you. [ in the end, it's a simple thing to say — like the words have just been waiting, all these weeks, for him to be brave enough to speak them aloud. ]
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The look Charles gives him now only makes the flush in his cheeks even deeper, and he lets Charles pull him in like there's no other choice he could possibly make. After the first kiss he manages to mumble out a tiny,] Oh—
[But then he can get it together, jazz hand hovering a moment before landing on Charles' shoulder as he leans into the other two kisses with enthusiasm. There's going to be a lot of standing on tiptoe in his future, he figures, and that is just fine. These kisses alone have made his heart flip so many times he's pretty sure it could generate flight, and if he's to float around after Charles like a besotted cartoon character for the rest of time, then it will be worth it.
And if the kisses can wind him up that much that quickly, is it any wonder that Charles' words can unravel him just as fast; he squeezes Charles' hand and shoulder harder, like he might earnestly just wobble straight to the ground from the relief of it, from the pure joy. Again he says,]
Oh, [and then,] Good. Great. Holy shit.
[Now it all hits him in full, the relief due for the world not ending, the elation of being loved, and he does kind of sway a little bit as he steps forward to thunk his head onto Charles' shoulder.]
Knew you'd be a good kisser. [Is there anything Charles isn't good at, sheesh— Junpei does actually stand on tiptoe then, lifting his head for another kiss, almost giddy that this is a thing he can do now whenever he likes.
When he leans back he is still cherry red, and trying and failing to smile just a normal amount instead of way too much.]
That's what I should've told you sooner, but... [He shrugs one shoulder; Charles had things to do, he made a judgment call. Still, as if to make up for that, again:] Yeah. I love you, too.
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which — he is, and the knowledge makes charles smile wide and bright and joyous. ]
Oh? [ he can't help but feel just a tad bit smug when he says, voice lilting, ] Thought about that, have you?
[ well, maybe it's a good thing junpei now has a very effective way to shut him up — one he uses to his advantage, and charles is all too happy to oblige him. and if his smile after matches junpei's, well! that's just fine. he thinks they deserve this, after everything, a moment to simply beam at each other in the middle of a goddamn street of all things. ]
That makes two of us. [ who should have said it sooner, he means — and then, voice soft and tender, ] Good.
[ and really, it's hardly charles' fault if the only possible answer to that is to lean down again, letting his hand slide down to the back of junpei's neck, fingers curling in his hair as he kisses him in earnest, this time... and while the earlier kisses were sort of, vaguely, still public-appropriate, this one is skirting the line, what with charles being very intent on leaving junpei breathless when they finally break apart. ]
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He hums and shrugs again - it's a mystery! - and lets go of Charles' hand to slide both arms around his shoulders, pressing himself as close as he can get with his feet still on the ground. Clearly he should tell Charles all of his idle kissing thoughts, if it inspires him to kiss like this— Junpei is all too happy to kiss him back in earnest, the middle of the street be damned. Maybe he'll care about that someday, but right now the whole world is him and Charles and the way that kiss leaves him almost dizzy - whether that's purely from the high of finally confessing or quite literally from being breathless is anyone's guess.
Either way, he doesn't want to let go; he wants to stand right here and look into Charles' eyes and let it really sink in, to adjust to the way it feels almost like the world has tilted on its axis in his favor, for once. The reset worked and Charles loves him, they're blocking the whole damn sidewalk and it doesn't matter because Charles loves him, him! Of all people! Even after the jazz hand—
Well, now's not the time for insecurity. Now is the time, actually, to give Charles an affectionate hair ruffle while he, ahem, settles down a little after being kissed so thoroughly. Whew.]
Now you're just showing off. [but also please continue to do so—] ...We should go on a date. Like, get dressed up nice and everything. You want to?
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the street could just as well not exist, for how little thought charles spares it; even as they break apart, even as he, too, feels breathless despite not even needing to breathe, all he has eyes for is junpei. and hell, but he can't really believe his luck — why on earth junpei would love him is quite frankly beyond him, and if he allows himself to dwell on it he's not entirely sure he deserves it, either; but he won't think of that, now, will avoid thinking of it as long as he can, because if junpei for some unfathomable reason seems to think him worth it... then charles won't doubt him.
what he will do instead is aim a grin at junpei, shrugging his shoulders. ]
That's not a complaint. [ and despite his tone, his eyes are full of warmth — and then he's leaning forward to press a kiss to his temple, his fingers untangling themselves from his hair as he moves his hand to join his other one around junpei. not for a moment does it occur to him they're still on the sidewalk; all he knows is the world could literally end right now and still he wouldn't let go.
the suggestion gets a hum from him. ] You mean, I'll get to see you in something else than a t-shirt? [ where's the nearest clothing store —
no, but joking aside, why is this even a question? ] Of course I do. [ he feels compelled to add, with a kind of devastating honesty, ] Junpei, love, you know you could ask me to go mountain climbing, or learn Ancient Greek, or watch seventy hours' worth of reality tv with you, and I'd say yes. Because it's you.
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Not even about the way Charles' sudden burst of honesty nearly knocks the wind out of him again, jeez, he could at least give Junpei a warning before pulling out all the stops. Calling him love alone is enough to swell his heart to bursting all over again, and as for the rest, well— he can't help but laugh, equal parts incredulous and genuine, shaking his head.]
At least two of those things I promise I'm never going to do, [and it would depend on how funny the trash tv is, for the third, so thank goodness Aldrip doesn't have reality television,] But... good to know. And, uh, it's the same for me, too. I'd do anything for you. Up to and including learning how to put on a tie.
[Which is serious, really, but still kind of a bit. Charles is definitely going to have to pick out his fancy date outfit for him, and he's made peace with that, but! Still, the other thing is just as true.]
I mean, even before five minutes ago, you've been the best thing that's ever happened to me, and... yeah. [And Yeah - Junpei 2024, romantic] So... don't hold back.
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and then you've been the best thing that's ever happened to me hits him with the force of a bloody missile — not least because he can't quite believe he could be the best thing to happen to anybody, but also because this is junpei, who so often chooses actions over words, and to hear him actually say this out loud —
it's staggering, is what it is, and it makes charles have to glance away just for a second to gather his bearings. ]
You — [ no, his voice still sticks in his throat, but he tries his best, tightens his arms around junpei as he looks back at him, ] Sometimes I love you so fucking much I don't know what to do with myself.
[ and that 'sometimes' is not entirely accurate — perhaps 'increasingly often' might work better. still, he smiles, just a bit tremulous, and yet no less adoring than before. ] It's just you, [ he says, because in the end, that is what it all comes down to. ] Of course it's you.
[ it is an echo of what he'd said, back in that dressing room — back when he had been saying this same thing even without knowing it.
and when he bridges the already small distance between them, it's to press one of those chaste, loving kisses against junpei's lips. as he pulls back, he huffs out a slight laugh. ] Right, can't keep kissing you forever on this sidewalk, can I? Should we...
[ he trails off, because he's not entirely sure what to suggest except move — keep walking? he's not really interested in seeing the city, right now. go back home? certainly an appealing idea. get junpei something to eat? probably sensible but also not very romantic — ]
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It's all he can do to slide his hands up to cup Charles' face in both of them, make sure he doesn't look away again, giving him a crooked kind of grin. Doing anything for Charles includes this, right, embracing all of the overwhelming emotions head-on, even when he hardly knows what to do with himself, either. He doesn't say things like the best thing that's ever happened to me for his health, after all.
But he doesn't say anything, simply holds Charles' gaze like that for a few extra moments after they've kissed, before he reaches behind his own back for a hand to hold. Frankly, well,]
Charles, if you ask me, you can do whatever you want. Just saying.
[Buuut okaaaay, they should... go... elsewhere. Plenty of things to do. Probably. He clears his throat and considers the street. Hmm.]
Things look pretty normal here. No reason to hang around.
[—although,]
...Does everyone here seem like they're super pissed off to you?
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Right, [ he says with a little grin, and well, charles would be lying if he tried to say junpei's frank correction and the implicit and explicit permission to kiss him whenever doesn't make him want to do just that, despite just having decided otherwise; he compromises by lifting their joined hands and pressing a kiss to junpei's knuckles instead.
and then the question makes him look around, considering. ] You mean, more than they should be for us blocking the sidewalk for ten minutes? ... Huh. Yeah, guess they do.
[ and that's probably something to look into, because that definitely wasn't a thing before... but does he really care? really, truly? ]
Well, that's different and all if we're not just imagining it, but... being honest? I don't really give a shit. Not right now. [ instead, he fixes junpei with a look. ] When's the last time you actually ate something? Like, an actual meal?
[ because it's been three days and he's having a hard time believing junpei bothered to make anything proper for himself if he spent the entire time worrying. ]
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Ah, and he can't help but grin sheepishly,] Wait, what? Now I'm in trouble?
[Hey hey, what's that look, haha, he totally takes care of himself, he has Eaten... The fact that he has to think about this is telling enough, but listen, it's been a stressful time.]
I had a sandwich, uh, yesterday. That's a meal.
[It's not a meal. And maybe he should be more embarrassed about being called out like this, and he will, honestly, this must be part of their promise to take better care of themselves, but... well! Honestly, he's stuck on the fact that Charles wants to take care of him at all, just like during the gnos event, or when he was drunk... no one has ever wanted to look after him before.
But he will learn to cook whole meals, really, for sure. Starting soon. He holds up his free hand in defeat,] Soooo... it's lunch time, then?
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anyway, pulling back, ]
Yeah. You got anything back at the house? No, [ he corrects himself immediately, ] Probably not what I'd need.
[ and then he seems to realise he's being a little cryptic, and directs a sheepish smile at junpei. ] I'm not a great cook, but I do know some recipes, yeah? Used to help Mum out with chores. One time when her wrist was broken, back when I was twelve, I did all the cooking with her instructions, so I kind of kept helping after that, too. Dad never did much in the kitchen, so...
[ so it was a win-win in his eyes, spending time with his mom while avoiding his dad. and the implications of how his mom's wrist got broken aside, ]
Anyway. You fancy some curry?
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Anyway, he says, faux-indignant,] Hey, I have ingredients, [which they both know he does not. If they're getting ingredients they can start walking again, which Junpei does with a little tug on their hands. This story about Charles' mom is pretty cute, other than...
Well. He can guess. Privately, without bringing it up, because it's the cute part that matters.]
You're gonna cook for me? Only an idiot would turn you down, so yeah, let's curry it up.
[Well, he expects he might just be watching, but even so. Truly only an actual fool would say no to home-cooked meals; Junpei is ready and willing to make googoo eyes at Charles over his kitchen counter for however long it takes to prepare curry. He has no idea.
On the way, though, he'll overtly fish for more cute Charles memories:]
Your mom a good cook?
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Yeah, she's brills. Her chicken curry was the highlight of all the potlucks, you know, my cousins and I would fight over who got the biggest portion. And shit, her baked plum tart? Wish you could taste that... but I don't know the recipe. She only made that on special occasions, and wouldn't let me help with it.
[ he sighs as he stops in front of a store called 8-twelve, which, hm! but he pushes the door open even as he says, ] She loved cooking. Reckon she still does.
[ there's a touch of wistfulness there, enough for him to drop the topic as he starts gathering ingredients, spending the longest time in front of the spice selection. but maybe it explains why he is strangely invested in cooking despite thirty-five years of not needing to do it at all. ]
How about you? What's your favourite dish? [ he tries to sound very innocent, like he's asking just out of curiosity and not so he can just learn how to cook whatever it is... ]
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The secret amazing plum tart...? Damn, now I'm really hungry.
[But really, he just likes to hear Charles talk about his good memories, especially given the rest of what he knows. It's obvious that it's important enough to him that Junpei would probably say yes to anything he wanted to make, just for little moments like this. It helps that curry is delicious, of course...
He has no idea what to do with himself in this store, though, so he just stands there and waits for Charles to pick out his things. Should he have grabbed a basket? He probably should have grabbed a basket. He is nailing this.]
What? Oh, uh, I dunno, really... Don't act too surprised, but I've been living off instant ramen and American fast food back home. [don't judge him. anyway, a Real Dish, hmm,] I guess if I picked something that wasn't cheap crap, then... cold soba is pretty good.
[Guy who only eats noodles and hamburgers voice: "Dish"???]
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at the little offhand comment of him being hungry, charles blinks and nods. ] Right, so we'll get you a snack. It takes a bit to simmer, so...
[ anyway! junpei doesn't need to stand idle for long, because charles starts handing him the things he picks out, one packet of spices after another. and then, ] Hold on a tick, [ he gives junpei's hand a squeeze before letting go and phasing through a few shelves, returning in maybe half a minute with a basket that's somehow half-full of an assorted collection of vegetables and a plastic-wrapped piece of chicken.
as he entwines their hands again, he does, in fact, give junpei a look that's half-flat and half-amused, because instant ramen and fast food, seriously, he hopes it's not been the case here because then he should have been cooking for him months ago.
but oh, an actual answer, ]
Cold soba, huh? Right, sure. I'll look into it. I was already gonna learn how to make a ramen broth or whatever that's called. You're gonna have to taste-test for me, though. Got no idea what the authentic thing tastes like... and it's not like I can taste it myself, can I?
[ he then tries to sort of wave his other hand at their surroundings, except it's holding the basket, and so all he ends up doing is jostling it and nearly tipping it over — he manages to balance it with a sharp snap of his wrist, but not before swearing under his breath. ] Uh, so, pick a snack? Or two. Or ten.
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Thank god he comes back quickly so Junpei can offload this stuff and go back to holding hands, a thing he's really good at.]
You'll need to get all the bones and stuff for good ramen broth, [he says, because he's a ramen critic despite eating 99 cent Bowl Noodles (tm) for years and years. He can help with that one! —Not that he's ever made a broth himself, but he's, you know, looked it up.
Anyway,] Do you want me to hold the basket...? I don't need that many snacks. Just, like, some chips or something.
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and then he glances at the basket he almost upended in the middle of the store and winces. ] No, it's fine. Just pick whatever you want, yeah? And then we can go.
[ they've made it to the last aisle before the cash register, the one with the snacks, and the cashier is ignoring them with an attitude best described as frigid, and, well. when junpei has picked what he wants, and after charles doubles back to grab a few treats for gab, he will hold his smile steadily in place through paying for the groceries, and only lets out a sigh when they finally make it outside again. ]
Jesus. If this is how it's gonna be from now on...
[ he falls silent for a moment as they start walking back to junpei's house. ] You think my landlord's gonna be like this, too?
[ because if so... well. he can handle people he doesn't know disliking him for no reason, but people he's sort of got along with before this? wow, he hates that. ]
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So it's a relief to be back outside and heading home, and hm, it seems like Charles does give a shit about the locals' behavior now, in the exact way that tugs at Junpei's heartstrings.]
Dunno... probably? Maybe they'll all collectively get over it, but I dunno.
[He doesn't have any real personal attachment to the locals himself, but hm, it would be a shame for Charles - what about that old lady, Gia? How many locals is Charles friendly with, anyway...]
You can hang out at my place if it's too awkward at yours.
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but people who he's met before? who he's gotten along with before? who he likes, at least well enough, changing their opinion of him on a dime? that's a little too close to his very real memories of his death, and though he's usually very good at hiding his apprehension, some of it bleeds through into the way he visibly tenses up when junpei says probably, the way his eyes stare at nothing for a second or two before he shakes himself back to the present with a blink.
and then he smiles, because some reflexes are just too ingrained in him to beat. ]
Nah, it's fine. I'm sure it's fine, but thanks. I just — [ he shrugs, ] Well, wouldn't want you to get sick of me, would I?
[ his tone is very light and joking, but he absolutely means it. ]
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He shakes his head and grips Charles' hand tighter. The hurt of being left behind unless it's convenient? That one he knows, so no, absolutely not. When Charles isn't around he spends all his time literally waiting by the phone, even, that was only a day ago...!]
Not gonna happen. Besides, it's... [hmm. how to phrase,] I mean, you don't always have to be on, you know? Not for me. You want to come over and zone out for a while, well, my door's- uh, I guess the mirror, actually- the mirror's always open.
[And he doesn't have a landlord! Tada! His landlordless house comes into view up ahead and Junpei slows them down just a bit; it wouldn't be a huge problem to continue this conversation over curry-making, sure, but it feels better to finish it out here. Let cooking time be nothing but good memories and tasty food, actually.]
You don't have to put up with weird bullshit from anybody, so... if things get too weird, I've got your back. Okay?
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I know you do. [ there's not too many things he's certain of in this place, but that is one of them; even before they spoke of their feelings, charles never once doubted junpei's care for him. ]
But that goes for you, too, yeah? The being on part. I mean, and the part about having your back, but — well, the thing is, I'm used to sharing my space. But you're not, are you? So if you ever feel like you want to be alone, or just... exist quietly in the same room, you let me know. Cause I —
[ the warmth has now migrated to his eyes, too, and the tension has bled out of the line of his shoulders. ] I can't imagine ever not wanting to be around you. So if you'll have me...
[ he shrugs; then it's entirely possible he'll never leave, and he can certainly live with that. ]
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