[ seeing junpei like this, full of this kind of quiet desolation, well — it just about breaks his heart, and so instead of letting go, charles lets his fingertips run up and down the side of his face. and perhaps strangely, junpei's words have almost the opposite effect on him — because he would much rather he be happy than proud of him, and if him going is causing him to look like this, filled with dread and worry, then is it even worth it to go? what does the entire world matter, when weighed against this, them, here?
he sighs and leans his head down, to touch their foreheads together for just a moment. ]
You know I almost decided not to go? [ pulling back, he gives junpei a small smile, and maybe he wouldn't be able to, if he didn't have decades of experience smiling even when he feels nothing like it. ]
All I really wanna do is stay. That's all I want whenever I'm with you, yeah? [ and that's — that's too close to the words he can't say, not now, not like this, and he rushes to keep speaking, to bury that under the rest of it all. ]
And really, will they need me? Probably not. I mean, why would they? I'm just, [ he shrugs and seems to think that says enough, says a normal guy who happens to be a ghost, that he's not a superhero, he's not like gwen or peter or scott. ] The most I've got is that I can walk through stuff. But... I promised Root. And I don't wanna be the kind of guy who goes back on his promises.
[ another small smile, a little more real than the previous one, tilts his lips upwards. ] So I'll go, because I promised... and I'll come back, because I promised. The second whatever terminal I end up at is dealt with, yeah? I — [ he removes the hand that's still holding onto junpei's shoulder, to jostle his backpack, so junpei can see it's actually stretched pretty tight, like he's just about managed to stuff something that barely fits in there, ] — I have a mirror with me.
[ so it won't take him days to come back, should that be the case for the others — he's literally just one step away. ]
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he sighs and leans his head down, to touch their foreheads together for just a moment. ]
You know I almost decided not to go? [ pulling back, he gives junpei a small smile, and maybe he wouldn't be able to, if he didn't have decades of experience smiling even when he feels nothing like it. ]
All I really wanna do is stay. That's all I want whenever I'm with you, yeah? [ and that's — that's too close to the words he can't say, not now, not like this, and he rushes to keep speaking, to bury that under the rest of it all. ]
And really, will they need me? Probably not. I mean, why would they? I'm just, [ he shrugs and seems to think that says enough, says a normal guy who happens to be a ghost, that he's not a superhero, he's not like gwen or peter or scott. ] The most I've got is that I can walk through stuff. But... I promised Root. And I don't wanna be the kind of guy who goes back on his promises.
[ another small smile, a little more real than the previous one, tilts his lips upwards. ] So I'll go, because I promised... and I'll come back, because I promised. The second whatever terminal I end up at is dealt with, yeah? I — [ he removes the hand that's still holding onto junpei's shoulder, to jostle his backpack, so junpei can see it's actually stretched pretty tight, like he's just about managed to stuff something that barely fits in there, ] — I have a mirror with me.
[ so it won't take him days to come back, should that be the case for the others — he's literally just one step away. ]